Road Trip

Hayyyy buddies,

Sorry I took a three week break. What's my excuse? don't really have one. I'm Lazy AF.

Okay, since we last spoke, I went on a flipping rad road trip. Sally, Lucy and I drove all the way from Boston to Florida.

without:
1. dying
2. getting a flat tire
3. crashing
4. getting pulled over
5. being total B.A.M.F.'s

hold up. scratch that last one......

total B.A.M.F.'s

what were the highlights of the trip???
Well, in South Carolina, I ate the. best. shrimp. ever.

no argument.

do you think you have had good shrimp? you'rewrong.
are you a vegetarian? give. it. up. eat. these. shrimp.
are you vegan? losethebeans. eatshrimp.
don't like shrimp? I don't like you.

EAT THE SHRIMP

The hours and hours and hours on the road were made worthwhile once I placed one of these guys in my mouth. so nosh-tastic.

What does "nosh" mean, you ask? Well, en route south, we stopped at my grandparents house in New Jersey. In my grandparents' town, there was a small Jewish deli called "Kosher Nosh"

thanks for the matzo ball soup and perogies, grandma. they travel well

henceforthwith, we invented a new verb/ adjective/ noun.

Nosh: anything in relation to delicious eating.
example: I could nosh hard core on some chicken mcnuggetz right now.

You see, on our road trip, Sally, Lucy and I began making up vocabulary. It was a Road Trip Dialect, if you will.

Road Trip Dialect Terminology:

Weird Ish: a very strange occurrence
example:
Lucy (driving): make me a sandwich with pickles but I don't want the pickle juice to soak into the bread.
Erika (in backseat): Ok. I'll open the window and let the pickle flap in the wind to dry out.
Sally (passenger seat): that's weird ish right there.
Erika: NO TOWEL LET IT AIR DRY!!!!

Good Cheet: an alternate pronunciation of "good Sh*t". Must be spoken in a mexican accent.
example:
Erika: remember our shrimp in south carolina?
Lucy: good cheet.

Bloob: Abbrev. for Lucy's blue bag
example:
Sally: where's my camera? I haven't taken a selfie in like 15 minutes.
Lucy: It's in my bloob.

ahhhhhh what a relief

Poob: Abbrev. for Sally's purple bag
example:
Sally: Crap, I left my poob in the bathroom in our room
Erika: Ew you left your pubes in the bathroom???
Sally: No, my poob, my purple bag.

When you go on a road trip, you lose touch with normal civilization. Therefore, things like this become funny:
1. There's a supermarket in Florida called Publix. It's on practically every block because people from Florida can't walk ten feet without having quadruple bypass surgery. you really can't miss it.
Anyways, try calling it Pubelix. endless fun.

hehehehehehehehe

2. Try pronouncing any words that begin with the letter "U" or "Y" with a "J" sound.

For instance, instead of staying "you are being silly" say "jew are being silly"

instead of saying "yes" say "jes"

Final result: when you take a wrong turn, and have to "bang a Uey", what time is it?  time to bang a jewey.