Road Trip

Hayyyy buddies,

Sorry I took a three week break. What's my excuse? don't really have one. I'm Lazy AF.

Okay, since we last spoke, I went on a flipping rad road trip. Sally, Lucy and I drove all the way from Boston to Florida.

without:
1. dying
2. getting a flat tire
3. crashing
4. getting pulled over
5. being total B.A.M.F.'s

hold up. scratch that last one......

total B.A.M.F.'s

what were the highlights of the trip???
Well, in South Carolina, I ate the. best. shrimp. ever.

no argument.

do you think you have had good shrimp? you'rewrong.
are you a vegetarian? give. it. up. eat. these. shrimp.
are you vegan? losethebeans. eatshrimp.
don't like shrimp? I don't like you.

EAT THE SHRIMP

The hours and hours and hours on the road were made worthwhile once I placed one of these guys in my mouth. so nosh-tastic.

What does "nosh" mean, you ask? Well, en route south, we stopped at my grandparents house in New Jersey. In my grandparents' town, there was a small Jewish deli called "Kosher Nosh"

thanks for the matzo ball soup and perogies, grandma. they travel well

henceforthwith, we invented a new verb/ adjective/ noun.

Nosh: anything in relation to delicious eating.
example: I could nosh hard core on some chicken mcnuggetz right now.

You see, on our road trip, Sally, Lucy and I began making up vocabulary. It was a Road Trip Dialect, if you will.

Road Trip Dialect Terminology:

Weird Ish: a very strange occurrence
example:
Lucy (driving): make me a sandwich with pickles but I don't want the pickle juice to soak into the bread.
Erika (in backseat): Ok. I'll open the window and let the pickle flap in the wind to dry out.
Sally (passenger seat): that's weird ish right there.
Erika: NO TOWEL LET IT AIR DRY!!!!

Good Cheet: an alternate pronunciation of "good Sh*t". Must be spoken in a mexican accent.
example:
Erika: remember our shrimp in south carolina?
Lucy: good cheet.

Bloob: Abbrev. for Lucy's blue bag
example:
Sally: where's my camera? I haven't taken a selfie in like 15 minutes.
Lucy: It's in my bloob.

ahhhhhh what a relief

Poob: Abbrev. for Sally's purple bag
example:
Sally: Crap, I left my poob in the bathroom in our room
Erika: Ew you left your pubes in the bathroom???
Sally: No, my poob, my purple bag.

When you go on a road trip, you lose touch with normal civilization. Therefore, things like this become funny:
1. There's a supermarket in Florida called Publix. It's on practically every block because people from Florida can't walk ten feet without having quadruple bypass surgery. you really can't miss it.
Anyways, try calling it Pubelix. endless fun.

hehehehehehehehe

2. Try pronouncing any words that begin with the letter "U" or "Y" with a "J" sound.

For instance, instead of staying "you are being silly" say "jew are being silly"

instead of saying "yes" say "jes"

Final result: when you take a wrong turn, and have to "bang a Uey", what time is it?  time to bang a jewey. 

Senioritis

Ladies and Gents, it's that time of year. The weather is warm, the teachers cancel class, the students don't do work. Senior Spring is upon us. 

When the weather turns nice, the seniors at Boston All Girl's School sit out on this brick patio, called the senior beach. 

guys, its 59 degrees and I am SO getting tan. by lunch I'll be a bronze goddess

#SeniorBeachTweets

Senior Beach living

Senior beach time

Just, like, chillin on the beach mon

During senior spring, students often feel rather disinclined to attend class. 

I would go to class but I forget how to use my legs 

#Anti-classTweets

One class today #seniorspring #lovinlife

rules broken today: lateness, Dunkin in class, brought unlabeled peanut butter chip cookies.

1 class today. Awesome.

save meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee #seniorspring #classispointless#timetograduate

Another senior spring trending topic is iced coffee. Apparently, iced coffee = senior spring joy

That's right... with or without coffee, iz nuts. oh tartar sauce. 

#IcedCoffeeTweets

today was a good day #seniorspring #icedcoffee #panini

Iced coffee is my version of the groundhog #springtime#seniorspring

During senior spring, people freak the heck out when the weather is nice.

It's so bright out, part of me wants the winter back. NAHT. I shall bathe in ze light. 

#NiceWeatherTweets

Got the blue sky breeze blowing wind through my hair#seenyaspring

spring spring sprang, spring spring sprang, i lovveeeee the weatheeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr

It is so sunny! All I wanna do is frolic!

frolicFROLICfrolicLALAlalalallaFROLICfrolic

Lastly, I would like to point out that senior spring causes a tremendous uproar of #SeniorSpringTweets. There were twelve tweets about senior spring over the course of one school day. pretty craycray. ya'll need to find real things to do. (says the gal who is blogging about people tweeting about senior spring)

Today was my first day of lacrosse tryouts. Normally when I think of lacrosse, I think of wearing shorts and a lax pinney on a sunny, 65 degree day.

chillin in my pastilles, tossing with my buddies, using my morning spoon

But it was not warm out today. It was very very very cold. Picture this: there we were, huddled in a circle in the middle of the field. Girls were moving behind one another to block themselves from the bitter, freezing, wind. 

It was like the damn tundra out there. 

We were not members of the Boston All Girl's School lacrosse team. No. We were a tribe of Native Americans in the Badlands of North Dakota. 

In this ultimate game of lacrosse, where the toughest tribes test their skill, strategy, strength, and endurance, we competed and fought for the land that was ours  /we did some passing drills

Completely exposed to the elements, we became one with nature /we whined 'cause our fingers were cold

despite the cold, we all wore loincloths

Two eagles swooped above our heads, as if to guard and protect us as we combatted. OK I legiterally saw two hawks today flying above the Boston All Girl's School lacrosse fields today

The match was brutal, a test that proved fatal for the weak /breathing cold air made my throat ouchy so I sat down

Dude in bottom right: guys, timeout. does anyone have an inhaler? 

We chanted together as a group, as if to ward off the evil cold spirits /we did a feeble team cheer at the end of practice 

Birthday

Hey sistas,

Guess what??? It's my eighteenth birthday!!!!

Eighteen, you ask? Yes, I will be a real-life adult. 

Thanks, Lucy, and I agree. Eighteen is a big one. 

I mean, the actual fact that I have lived 18 years is not surprising to me. Obviously. I was a baby for a while, and then a toddler, and a little kid, then a tween, (which happens to be my favorite age)

Don't you miss the awkwardness of being a tweenager? 

Awkwardness Score Card: 

-5 points for braces

-5 points for the developing body and lack of appropriate "support garments"
-5 points if you shopped at abercrombie kids 

Now, take this awkwardness score and multiply it by five for tomboys
Ladies and Gents, that's 75 points for Erika

relaxing after a school dance. scored some mad digits

Anyways, childhood was not easy, but I am certainly not ready to be an adult

Here are a few reasons why the "legal adulthood" age should be raised a few years for me:

1. Whenever I shuffle my iPod, the goofy goober song comes on.

and i refuse to delete it

2. Every night, my daddy brings me a cut up apple while I am upstairs doing my homework

DO YOU THINK THAT NOW THAT I AM EIGHTEEN, MY DADDY WON'T BRING ME APPLE ANYMORE? what in the WORLD am I going to do in college when I have to use my legs to walk places to get my own food?

can I hire someone to be my daddy at college? 

This is me meeting my first male friend at college:

and he shall cut me fruits

3. I still fit into kids clothing. well, extra large kids clothing... details.. but, the real concern is that I still like kids clothing. What adult finds the same jackets and tops cute as twelve-year-olds do?

THIS GUY

Well, it has been eighteen years and I have no choice but to set this childish ship sailing into the sea of adulthood.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Identity Week

Here at Boston All Girl's School, it is Identity week! To clarify, I am a huge advocate for the efforts our school has made to increase the amount of diversity conversation.  I just thought, "it's identity week! so I can talk about myself!"
Here, I will categorize myself based upon the 6 core identifiers: Socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, gender, religion, race/ethnicity, age, and ability


age
Clues:
I have 700 more Facebook friends than real life friends. 

I am rebellious, lazy, irresponsible, and totally focused on trivial things like clothes and socializing 

Best guess:
17!!!! 


ability/disability 
Clues:
I have the urge to move, usually due to uncomfortable sensations that occur primarily in my legs, but occasionally in the arms or elsewhere.
Motor restlessness, expressed as activity, which relieves the urge to move.
symptoms worsen by relaxation
symptoms worsen in the evening and early in the night

Best guess:  

Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS)

socioeconomic status
Clues: 
I neither worked nor paid for the house that I live in 
I am completely financially dependent on the the goodwill of others (parents) 
I wear the same outfit every day. (tshirtpants, tshirtpants, tshirtpants, etc) 

mommy iz hungy and i wantz a sammich

Best guess:  
hobo


sexual orientation
clues:


I am currently crushing on these three:

  

         

Best Guess:

To Be Determined once I actually get off my butt and meet real-life people

gender
Clues:
I leave no room for a package in my skinny jeans


Best Guess
Female!


religion

Clues:
I live by a strict set of morals.

Best Guess
I am a procrastinator. Putting things off is not a bad habit, it is a belief. 

race/ethnicity

Clues:

Well, my parents are rather white. 

And in the summer I look rather not-white:

that's me next to Ms. Pastypale

Some people tell me I look like a Mexican man when I make this face

Best Guess

Switched at birth/ whatever Corbin Bleu is:

#ILoveHavingAMaleDoppleganger

Sometimes, I find myself to be an extremely bitter person. I can't help it! Often fueled by jealousy, I allow my emotions to take over my common sense.

For instance, when I see someone dressed in awesome clothes, I think to myself, "Wow, those sunglasses look really good on her. That's a REALLY COOL sweater. I hate her."

does this thinking process make sense? no, it really doesn't. 

Then, instead of complimenting the fashionably elite person, or asking her where she gets her clothes, I wallow in my non-fashionable misery. 

and everyone knows you can't successfully wallow in your misery unless you are wearing sweatpants. 

You must see the problem in this sequence of events. 

On another note, when I am walking alone in the city, and I see a group of chatty people in the subway or on the street  laughing and enjoying each others' company, I can't help but to despise each and every one of them. 
It's like, here I am, sad music playing on my iPod, no shoulder to cry on, alone and vulnerable. Solitude surrounds my thoughts until suddenly, out pops a group of sociable and happy people! 

Queue the self pity thoughts:

When I make milkshakes, no one comes to yard. 

What do my boyfriend and a Ferrari have in common? I don't have either. 

Sweatpants and gravity are the only things that hold me. 

When my coach says find a partner, I end up paired with the coach. 

Static electricity is the only thing that is truly attracted to me. 

Instead of calling up someone to come hang out with me, I go home alone, as if to spite that group of friends I saw on the subway. 

I swear have friends!!!!! 

internet friends

a strange childhood

When I was a baby, my parents probably thought, "what a nice young lady she will become.... "

They subsequently dressed me in flowery pink clothing. 

Once I began talking, however, things changed. I was a very opinionated toddler. 

To my parents' surprise, I wanted to have short hair and to wear boys' clothes. I despised barbies and princesses. 

I was a tomboy. 

Girls want superheroes AND the boys want superheroes. Girls want pink stuff, AND the boys want pink stuff.

From  age four to age ten, I was continuously mistaken for a boy. 

"Honey, the boy's bathroom is down the hall. You are in the girl's bathroom." 

I am a girl, dammit. 

Luckily, I was never questioned so much that I had to prove my gender.  I definitely would have pulled a Viola Hastings. 

anatomy decides all

Between the ages of 6 and 8, I thought girls' bathing suits were too girly. Hence, I chose the obvious alternative, the zip-up onesie wannabe wetsuit. 

During one momentous summer, I graduated from the the zip-up onesie wannabe wetsuit to the ultra feminine girl's one-piece speedo. SUCH a big moment. 

girly, huh?

I was not just your average tomboy. no no no. I was a colorblind fashionably disabled tomboy. 

orange and green, REALLY? 

despicable bloutfit

The first time I wore a dress was truly a significant moment in my childhood. I must have thought, 

"this is it. I am becoming real girl."

Little known fact: I was wearing boxers underneath my dress

baby steps.