I hate math. I really really really hate math.
I'm not sure why, but I have no confidence with numbers. They confuse my brain.

Why was six afraid of seven?

I have no flippin' idea. Numbers aren't real.

Instead of putting more discipline into my math studies in order to overcome my struggles, I have lost hope and become defiant. 

Solve: tanx=1

Math, I have enough problems. why can't you solve your own ? 

Similarly, I have learned to procrastinate all math assignments  TO DA MAX.  

Math Homework due tomorrow?

Do Tomorrow.

Do you know that awesome feeling when you finally understand math?

Often, I find myself looking down at my notes, seeing hundreds of numbers that I do not understand, and thinking,

"screw these numbers. I'll be a stripper"

The show Gossip Girl is incredibly saddening because it shows how our normal high school lives pale in comparison to those of Manhatten's finest. 

How does my high school experience differ from Serena Van Der Woodsen's?
1. I actually have to go to class
2. I actually have to work (take tests, write papers, do homework, etc.)
3. I, a student at Boston All Girl's School, do not know any males
5. I live in the suburbs, not in a penthouse
6. I wear sweatpants

The list goes on. Unlike in Gossip Girl, in real high school, we have to deal with boredom, stress, and our continuous lack of fashion, friends, and a social life.


Imagine if Blair and Serena were students at your high school.... Gossip Girl's narritive would be a little different, huh?  

our lives are so damn boring

Meet the crew:

Serena Van Der Woodsen

   

Blair Waldorf

Chuck Bass

Dan Humphrey

Spotted: Lonely boy on his computer in class avoiding boredom. They say love conquers all. But maybe love never met Photobooth. Poor Humphrey. Looks like our resident moral compass isn't such a straight arrow after all. XOXO - Gossip Girl 

Spotted: a beautiful blonde phoenix rising from the ashes of a major public humiliation. in math class. 

S- the derivative of x²  is 2x, not 3x

Springtime on the Upper East Side. Where the winter chill is supposed to be so last season. We hear that World War III just broke out. And it's wearing a fur hat. 

Looks like Chuck and Blair showed up with quite an appetite for destruction. of the cupcakes in the homeroom, that is. 

Serena knows a party isn't a party until someone crashes

sooooooo fulllllll

If I were you, Chuck, I'd be worried. There could be hairballs on that teddy bear. Sweet dreams. 

It's cold out there, but on the Upper East Side things are heating up. Valentine's Day has arrived. Looks like B has a secret admirer. Oh, it's her little brother.

You know you love me. XOXO - Gossip Girl

Dog Blog

Dogs dogs dogs! we love them! 

They are cute, funny, loving, and loyal. Most importantly, they give us the most amazing website in the world called Hot Guys. Holding Cute Puppies. 

he's so cute!!!! who? the hot guy or the puppy?
what fun! oh how I love pronoun ambiguity

If you are a cat person, you must be a ginger

no soul

My two dogs, Marley and Coby, are complete opposites. Marley is a girl, Coby is a boy. Marley is black, Coby is white.  Marley is smart, Coby is a pinhead. Most of the time, they absolutely hate each other. 

Marley

based the laws of physics,  ball will rise 4.67 feet in the air and land 18.9 feet away from initial position

Coby

wag wag wag wag wag wag treat wag wag wag wag wag

I love how people are protective of their dogs. They treat their dogs the way they treat their families. 

It works like this:

you are allowed to say that your own mom has a mom butt 

your friends are not allowed to say that your mom has a mom butt

you can insult your own dog

your friends cannot insult your dog

So here I go. 

Though Marley is "book smart" (she can sit, lay down, etc) she has a dead animal problem. She eats dead animals, not realizing that dead animals make alive animals sick. very. violently. sick. 

I woke up this morning and found a note on the counter. 

Erika- Marley ate a dead squirrel last night. She is sick. 

Please remember to close the kitchen doors so she can not get to the rest of the house. Do not forget.

-mom

This happened once before. Marley ate a dead bird and escaped from the kitchen. She left presents for us around the house. including my bed. 

droppings in bed= unforgivable

I found yet another note taped on my backdoor as I left my house for school.

Erika- Please do not forget to close the doors. 

As if the first note was not enough to warn me that if I did not close the doors, I could potentially find poopies or barf in my bed. 


it's okay, I still love my doggies! 

how could you not?

Meet the pups:

Herb

Hot dog, we have a winner! The most adorable puppy. 

Dublin

i walks by dead chipmunk or i stops and rolls in it? secund one 

hehe when she hugs me i makes her smell like chipmunk

Dillon

while i may appear to be paying attention, i simply want a treat

Mickey

if i act helpless, they will rub me

i iz princess and this iz my throne

Cooper

i just farted

this iz my raccoon. we snuggle

there we have it. Doggies=happiness

hair

Have you ever woken up in the morning, looked in the mirror, and seen this?

lock your doors, hide your children!

I bet you haven't. Sometimes, my hair does very strange things. I swear I didn't do anything to it! I just woke up and it looked like this!

When I went to bed last night, I put my hair in a ponytail like I normally do. When I woke up, I found that my hair elastic had broken and the monster had escaped!

My hair stayed this way all day long. If anything, it got worse.

chillen, defying the laws of gravity

Earlier this year I had a similar unpredictably insane hair day. I wore my hair down to school mostly because I couldn't detain it using an elastic. I received some very interesting looks from the lower-schoolers throughout the day.

please don't hurt me

Luckily, I have this: TIGI Catwalk Curl Collection hair gel

Imagine if Jesus and Beyonce made a hair product out of pure unicorn blood and then Ghandi blessed it after it traveled on a leprechaun rainbow over Mount Everest and it fell from the sky as a seed that was germinated and nursed to maturity by a three-towed sloth who planted it on the holy grounds of Jerusalem and it sprouted into fountain of pure amazingness. That’s what my hair gel is to me. 


Without it.... 

countless terrified children

How To Bomb an Audition for Your School Musical

1. Believe in your musically inexperienced self. 

My mommy says I can sing

*cry because Troy Bolton made musicals cool and he does't exist 

2. When you arrive in the theater, make sure your feet smell strongly of stinky ice hockey skates, basketball shoes, soccer cleats, etc. 

*The stench will remind you of athletics and confirm the fact that you should probably not try anything art-related.

3. Remember to show up late and apologize to the director for your tardiness.

Fashionably Late Willy Wonka

* The director will pay extra attention to your sorry self when you begin your audition. 

4. When you begin the acting portion of the audition, remember that you have had acting experience in your middle school shakespeare play. 

*Recall that you had only two lines and you missed one of them.
**You were the jailer and you forgot the handcuffs.

6. In preparation for the musical, make sure you can't read music.  

Too mainstream.  

7. When the director tells you that you must sing "Heartbreak Hotel" by Elvis Presley by yourself, laugh at his funny joke. 

oh you sly dog. you think you can fool me.

8. Perform the most tone-deaf, pitchy, and horrendous rendition of an Elvis Presley song that the heavens have ever witnessed. 

*smile and listen to the liars applaud your performance 

All Girl's Superbowl Party

Welcome to the all girl's Super Bowl party, where cupcakes outnumber attendees.
Here, I will attempt to illustrate the ironic nature of a football party full of girls, half of whom do not understand football.
I admit that I do not fully comprehend football. Why are there so many damn rules and numbers? 
Watching the Super Bowl with fifteen girls was an unforgettable experience.


Overheard at the party:

Announcer: "Victor Cruz, the New York Giants receiver, caught the ball in the end zone"

 "haha his name sounds like Victor Krum"

On the topic of football players' tight spandex pants:

"It looks like he has camel-toe on his butt"

"Ew why does his butt look like that?"

"It looks like he's wearing women's underwear" 

"Guys, Madonna is my moms age"

 "Imagine if that were your mom up there..."

I'd rather not..

"Guys why is there an "A" in the endzone?"

  "It's for the american league" 

#footballknowlege 

"Are you sure that's not A from Pretty Little Liars?"

watch out, TBrady

"ahg he's so hot!!!"

"his face looks purple because he is so big and he's not getting enough oxygen when he runs"

"You'd think they would be able to catch after all that football playing"

 
If nothing else, we gained one thing from the night