How To Bomb an Audition for Your School Musical

1. Believe in your musically inexperienced self. 

My mommy says I can sing

*cry because Troy Bolton made musicals cool and he does't exist 

2. When you arrive in the theater, make sure your feet smell strongly of stinky ice hockey skates, basketball shoes, soccer cleats, etc. 

*The stench will remind you of athletics and confirm the fact that you should probably not try anything art-related.

3. Remember to show up late and apologize to the director for your tardiness.

Fashionably Late Willy Wonka

* The director will pay extra attention to your sorry self when you begin your audition. 

4. When you begin the acting portion of the audition, remember that you have had acting experience in your middle school shakespeare play. 

*Recall that you had only two lines and you missed one of them.
**You were the jailer and you forgot the handcuffs.

6. In preparation for the musical, make sure you can't read music.  

Too mainstream.  

7. When the director tells you that you must sing "Heartbreak Hotel" by Elvis Presley by yourself, laugh at his funny joke. 

oh you sly dog. you think you can fool me.

8. Perform the most tone-deaf, pitchy, and horrendous rendition of an Elvis Presley song that the heavens have ever witnessed. 

*smile and listen to the liars applaud your performance