Identity Week

Here at Boston All Girl's School, it is Identity week! To clarify, I am a huge advocate for the efforts our school has made to increase the amount of diversity conversation.  I just thought, "it's identity week! so I can talk about myself!"
Here, I will categorize myself based upon the 6 core identifiers: Socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, gender, religion, race/ethnicity, age, and ability


age
Clues:
I have 700 more Facebook friends than real life friends. 

I am rebellious, lazy, irresponsible, and totally focused on trivial things like clothes and socializing 

Best guess:
17!!!! 


ability/disability 
Clues:
I have the urge to move, usually due to uncomfortable sensations that occur primarily in my legs, but occasionally in the arms or elsewhere.
Motor restlessness, expressed as activity, which relieves the urge to move.
symptoms worsen by relaxation
symptoms worsen in the evening and early in the night

Best guess:  

Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS)

socioeconomic status
Clues: 
I neither worked nor paid for the house that I live in 
I am completely financially dependent on the the goodwill of others (parents) 
I wear the same outfit every day. (tshirtpants, tshirtpants, tshirtpants, etc) 

mommy iz hungy and i wantz a sammich

Best guess:  
hobo


sexual orientation
clues:


I am currently crushing on these three:

  

         

Best Guess:

To Be Determined once I actually get off my butt and meet real-life people

gender
Clues:
I leave no room for a package in my skinny jeans


Best Guess
Female!


religion

Clues:
I live by a strict set of morals.

Best Guess
I am a procrastinator. Putting things off is not a bad habit, it is a belief. 

race/ethnicity

Clues:

Well, my parents are rather white. 

And in the summer I look rather not-white:

that's me next to Ms. Pastypale

Some people tell me I look like a Mexican man when I make this face

Best Guess

Switched at birth/ whatever Corbin Bleu is:

#ILoveHavingAMaleDoppleganger

Sometimes, I find myself to be an extremely bitter person. I can't help it! Often fueled by jealousy, I allow my emotions to take over my common sense.

For instance, when I see someone dressed in awesome clothes, I think to myself, "Wow, those sunglasses look really good on her. That's a REALLY COOL sweater. I hate her."

does this thinking process make sense? no, it really doesn't. 

Then, instead of complimenting the fashionably elite person, or asking her where she gets her clothes, I wallow in my non-fashionable misery. 

and everyone knows you can't successfully wallow in your misery unless you are wearing sweatpants. 

You must see the problem in this sequence of events. 

On another note, when I am walking alone in the city, and I see a group of chatty people in the subway or on the street  laughing and enjoying each others' company, I can't help but to despise each and every one of them. 
It's like, here I am, sad music playing on my iPod, no shoulder to cry on, alone and vulnerable. Solitude surrounds my thoughts until suddenly, out pops a group of sociable and happy people! 

Queue the self pity thoughts:

When I make milkshakes, no one comes to yard. 

What do my boyfriend and a Ferrari have in common? I don't have either. 

Sweatpants and gravity are the only things that hold me. 

When my coach says find a partner, I end up paired with the coach. 

Static electricity is the only thing that is truly attracted to me. 

Instead of calling up someone to come hang out with me, I go home alone, as if to spite that group of friends I saw on the subway. 

I swear have friends!!!!! 

internet friends

a strange childhood

When I was a baby, my parents probably thought, "what a nice young lady she will become.... "

They subsequently dressed me in flowery pink clothing. 

Once I began talking, however, things changed. I was a very opinionated toddler. 

To my parents' surprise, I wanted to have short hair and to wear boys' clothes. I despised barbies and princesses. 

I was a tomboy. 

Girls want superheroes AND the boys want superheroes. Girls want pink stuff, AND the boys want pink stuff.

From  age four to age ten, I was continuously mistaken for a boy. 

"Honey, the boy's bathroom is down the hall. You are in the girl's bathroom." 

I am a girl, dammit. 

Luckily, I was never questioned so much that I had to prove my gender.  I definitely would have pulled a Viola Hastings. 

anatomy decides all

Between the ages of 6 and 8, I thought girls' bathing suits were too girly. Hence, I chose the obvious alternative, the zip-up onesie wannabe wetsuit. 

During one momentous summer, I graduated from the the zip-up onesie wannabe wetsuit to the ultra feminine girl's one-piece speedo. SUCH a big moment. 

girly, huh?

I was not just your average tomboy. no no no. I was a colorblind fashionably disabled tomboy. 

orange and green, REALLY? 

despicable bloutfit

The first time I wore a dress was truly a significant moment in my childhood. I must have thought, 

"this is it. I am becoming real girl."

Little known fact: I was wearing boxers underneath my dress

baby steps. 

I hate math. I really really really hate math.
I'm not sure why, but I have no confidence with numbers. They confuse my brain.

Why was six afraid of seven?

I have no flippin' idea. Numbers aren't real.

Instead of putting more discipline into my math studies in order to overcome my struggles, I have lost hope and become defiant. 

Solve: tanx=1

Math, I have enough problems. why can't you solve your own ? 

Similarly, I have learned to procrastinate all math assignments  TO DA MAX.  

Math Homework due tomorrow?

Do Tomorrow.

Do you know that awesome feeling when you finally understand math?

Often, I find myself looking down at my notes, seeing hundreds of numbers that I do not understand, and thinking,

"screw these numbers. I'll be a stripper"

The show Gossip Girl is incredibly saddening because it shows how our normal high school lives pale in comparison to those of Manhatten's finest. 

How does my high school experience differ from Serena Van Der Woodsen's?
1. I actually have to go to class
2. I actually have to work (take tests, write papers, do homework, etc.)
3. I, a student at Boston All Girl's School, do not know any males
5. I live in the suburbs, not in a penthouse
6. I wear sweatpants

The list goes on. Unlike in Gossip Girl, in real high school, we have to deal with boredom, stress, and our continuous lack of fashion, friends, and a social life.


Imagine if Blair and Serena were students at your high school.... Gossip Girl's narritive would be a little different, huh?  

our lives are so damn boring

Meet the crew:

Serena Van Der Woodsen

   

Blair Waldorf

Chuck Bass

Dan Humphrey

Spotted: Lonely boy on his computer in class avoiding boredom. They say love conquers all. But maybe love never met Photobooth. Poor Humphrey. Looks like our resident moral compass isn't such a straight arrow after all. XOXO - Gossip Girl 

Spotted: a beautiful blonde phoenix rising from the ashes of a major public humiliation. in math class. 

S- the derivative of x²  is 2x, not 3x

Springtime on the Upper East Side. Where the winter chill is supposed to be so last season. We hear that World War III just broke out. And it's wearing a fur hat. 

Looks like Chuck and Blair showed up with quite an appetite for destruction. of the cupcakes in the homeroom, that is. 

Serena knows a party isn't a party until someone crashes

sooooooo fulllllll

If I were you, Chuck, I'd be worried. There could be hairballs on that teddy bear. Sweet dreams. 

It's cold out there, but on the Upper East Side things are heating up. Valentine's Day has arrived. Looks like B has a secret admirer. Oh, it's her little brother.

You know you love me. XOXO - Gossip Girl

Dog Blog

Dogs dogs dogs! we love them! 

They are cute, funny, loving, and loyal. Most importantly, they give us the most amazing website in the world called Hot Guys. Holding Cute Puppies. 

he's so cute!!!! who? the hot guy or the puppy?
what fun! oh how I love pronoun ambiguity

If you are a cat person, you must be a ginger

no soul

My two dogs, Marley and Coby, are complete opposites. Marley is a girl, Coby is a boy. Marley is black, Coby is white.  Marley is smart, Coby is a pinhead. Most of the time, they absolutely hate each other. 

Marley

based the laws of physics,  ball will rise 4.67 feet in the air and land 18.9 feet away from initial position

Coby

wag wag wag wag wag wag treat wag wag wag wag wag

I love how people are protective of their dogs. They treat their dogs the way they treat their families. 

It works like this:

you are allowed to say that your own mom has a mom butt 

your friends are not allowed to say that your mom has a mom butt

you can insult your own dog

your friends cannot insult your dog

So here I go. 

Though Marley is "book smart" (she can sit, lay down, etc) she has a dead animal problem. She eats dead animals, not realizing that dead animals make alive animals sick. very. violently. sick. 

I woke up this morning and found a note on the counter. 

Erika- Marley ate a dead squirrel last night. She is sick. 

Please remember to close the kitchen doors so she can not get to the rest of the house. Do not forget.

-mom

This happened once before. Marley ate a dead bird and escaped from the kitchen. She left presents for us around the house. including my bed. 

droppings in bed= unforgivable

I found yet another note taped on my backdoor as I left my house for school.

Erika- Please do not forget to close the doors. 

As if the first note was not enough to warn me that if I did not close the doors, I could potentially find poopies or barf in my bed. 


it's okay, I still love my doggies! 

how could you not?

Meet the pups:

Herb

Hot dog, we have a winner! The most adorable puppy. 

Dublin

i walks by dead chipmunk or i stops and rolls in it? secund one 

hehe when she hugs me i makes her smell like chipmunk

Dillon

while i may appear to be paying attention, i simply want a treat

Mickey

if i act helpless, they will rub me

i iz princess and this iz my throne

Cooper

i just farted

this iz my raccoon. we snuggle

there we have it. Doggies=happiness

hair

Have you ever woken up in the morning, looked in the mirror, and seen this?

lock your doors, hide your children!

I bet you haven't. Sometimes, my hair does very strange things. I swear I didn't do anything to it! I just woke up and it looked like this!

When I went to bed last night, I put my hair in a ponytail like I normally do. When I woke up, I found that my hair elastic had broken and the monster had escaped!

My hair stayed this way all day long. If anything, it got worse.

chillen, defying the laws of gravity

Earlier this year I had a similar unpredictably insane hair day. I wore my hair down to school mostly because I couldn't detain it using an elastic. I received some very interesting looks from the lower-schoolers throughout the day.

please don't hurt me

Luckily, I have this: TIGI Catwalk Curl Collection hair gel

Imagine if Jesus and Beyonce made a hair product out of pure unicorn blood and then Ghandi blessed it after it traveled on a leprechaun rainbow over Mount Everest and it fell from the sky as a seed that was germinated and nursed to maturity by a three-towed sloth who planted it on the holy grounds of Jerusalem and it sprouted into fountain of pure amazingness. That’s what my hair gel is to me. 


Without it.... 

countless terrified children